As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
