Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
