He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The power of my boobs compel you
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
