You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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