Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize