shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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