Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
