How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
