Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I have demons in me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
