I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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