Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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