By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
