I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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