All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
