I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My penis needs a shock collar
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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