I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
