i don't like sucking hair
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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