things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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