Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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