Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
