u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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