Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize