So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
His nipple licking is glorious
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