So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
