Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
