whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
