Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Bring me that man meat
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
