New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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