so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
