i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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