I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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