Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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