Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
