im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
