Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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