You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
