i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
