I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
now i know why i became what i already was.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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