I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
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He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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