Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
