hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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