Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I cont stop tolking in a british axsent

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.

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(410): View more from Maryland

is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable

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(205): View more from Alabama

I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.

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(276): View more from Virginia

I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation

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(971): View more from Oregon

we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.

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