dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
