matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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