Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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