summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
