Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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