I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
