we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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