Welp...herpes.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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