I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.