She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?