whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
