it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
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