You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i love accidental penises.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
