Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
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When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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