So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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