Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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