he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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