she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize