Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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