They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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